Category Archives: Personal Developement

Welcome to The Talk To Yourself.

We are dedicated to personal developement and human growth.

Nothing Last Forever

Nothing lasts forever. Countries and empires become great and vanish into history leaving only an indistinct memory of the actual reality of the empire. Perhaps there is a legacy that is adopted by subsequent peoples in other countries and empires.

The great Roman Empire and that of the Greeks where democracy is said to have been nourished and born are no more. Their legacy lives in this moment in the form of thoughts, beliefs and actions that result from those thoughts and beliefs in this moment.

Everything exists only in the now. For nations, empires and for people. Now is all we have and while we may use lessons learned it is in the now that we experience life.

Friendships are something many may wish to believe are everlasting and unchangeable. I believe even the best of friendships change and evolve. I believe that the best of friendships have cycles.

I say friendships like everything else, do not last forever. They change, grow, evolve and become different with time. Sometimes friends take a different path on their journey and seem not to be friends in the same way they once were friends. Sometimes these friends who for a time took a sperate path come together again as close friends and sometimes they do not.

I believe each person who comes into my life is there for a purpose as am I when I enter another’s life. Sometimes when that purpose is fulfilled the friends part for a time.

It has been my great good fortune to have had some wonderful friends in my life. I have never stopped caring about a friend when I or my friends have needed to move on to what ever is next in our lives.

Friendship is a form of love and for me love, real genuine love is about as close as anything gets to lasting forever. Real love and friendships never die.


A Traveler On The Journey!

The destination you seek is your choice. Live your life with passion.

“In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it.” — Robert Heinlein

Without an understanding of what we want from life we get what happens without conscious choice. The unconscious thinking that is the habit and internal life of most people, create destiny as surely as a future created with great conscious thought and effort toward a desired goal.

How common is it to for one of our fellows to bemoan his or her fate at having no pleasure or satisfaction in life? When I hear this I almost always see a person who has lived life without a plan. I see people ignorant of the most basic understanding that men achieve what they think about, take action to achieve, and desire.

Without a goal it is human nature to take the path of least resistance. Without a challenge that has meaning to the individual whether it is family, friends, career or purpose, life becomes a series of meaningless distractions from the tedious, mundane grind of existence.

Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” My own experience with unconscious thought and my observations of other travelers through life confirm to me that without examination and conscious thought life is less than satisfying. Socrates was right.

Think! Consciously think about hopes, desires, passions, dreams and take action. Create a life that has meaning.

Plan! Be aware of things that can be done to create in your life the things you desire.

Desire! Desire passionately striving for the goals you have identified.

Act! Take action in large and small ways to progress towards your goals.

Enjoy! Enjoy living a liberated life of conscious thought and conscious action.

The destination you seek is your choice.
Live your life with passion.

A traveler on the journey.

Dr. Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D. “Self Talk and the beautiful efficiency of technology”

Dr. Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D.  Self Talk and the beautiful efficiency of technology

In the early years of my conscious self discovery and self development journey I discovered the usefulness of recording positive, true scripts on audio cassette tapes and listening to them as I went about my day. I used this tool of recording sayings of many kinds from a large variety of sources to help me to develop the kind habits, actions and abilities I desired to possess.

I used this tool for a few years and discovered a book by Dr. Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D. titled The Self Talk Solution in which he puts forth the benefits of positive self talk as a way of overcoming and reframing negative internal messages into positive affirming self talk. In this book Dr. Helmstetter also extolled the miracle of technology available to all with a cassette recorder to make personalized tapes to play back periodically to help shift beliefs from limiting beliefs to more true, empowering beliefs.

Before reading his book and examining his other materials I was already using many of the techniques mentioned in his books. His presentation of the how and why self talk can be useful was a cogent and credible theory which I found useful.

I eventually attended a training group at the Self Talk Institute where he presented a version of his work to professionals for use with clients. I have used this method with many coaching and counseling clients alone and in conjunction with other techniques. It is frequently useful as a way of moving forward towards the goals my clients would like to achieve.

Today the easy and inexpensive availability of Compact Disc players, MP3 players, computers and other audio devices make self produced and professionally produced custom audio programs useful to the individual and to the professional working with clients.

I use audio programs in my work with clients today and continue to use audio programs for my own personal growth.


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

The fear of success is a theme which resonates with me. I know how to live small. I wish to live large and I tell myself, “Be careful, be very careful, do not fail! You are a fool to think you can achieve these things! What will happen to you, your sense of self and your reputation if/when your plan fails?”

Fear is the great destroyer of dreams and desires when it is accepted as truth. Fear when accepted as truth and used to remain frozen and unwilling to take the risks which might create the success personally and professionally that I desire.

I believe that life is a dynamic experience rather than a static experience when life is lived and experienced fully. Change brings fear and it also brings the possibility of happiness and fulfilled dreams. The poet once said, “It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.” It is better to have pursued dreams, followed our bliss, as Joseph Campbell said and see where love of life will take us on this journey through the world than never to have really lived at all.

I hope for a happy journey! As Roy Rogers used to sing, “Happy Trails To You!”