Reviewed by: John M. Grohol, Psy.D.
on July 26, 2007 at 11:31 am
Managing emotions is an arduous task for some but a skill that is essential to success in business and personal relationships. Often individuals who can not manage their emotions choose dangerous or destructive courses of action.
Emotional control, a trait associated with adulthood, is best learned during adolescence, a life period often characterized by wide swings of powerful emotions.
â€œThereâ€™s a stereotype that teens donâ€™t manage their emotions, their emotions manage them,â€ said Reed Larson, a professor of family ecology at the University of Illinois.
Accordingly, Larson and colleagues studied if teenagers can be taught to manage their emotions. Their article is published in this monthâ€™s journal of Child Development.
Abraham Lincoln said, “People are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” I agree with Lincoln and think Dan Gilbert has useful and impart on the subject of happiness and contentment.
Dan Gilbert talks about happiness. On TED/WNYC – New York Public Radio
Psychologist Dan Gilbert challenges the idea that we’ll be miserable if we don’t get what we want. Our “psychological immune system” lets us feel real, enduring happiness, he says, even when things donâ€™t go as planned. He calls this kind of happiness “synthetic happiness,” and he says it’s “every bit as real and enduring as the kind of happiness you stumble upon when you get exactly what you were aiming for.”
A few months ago Reverend Will Bowen, a pastor in Kansas City, Missouri, asked his congregation to make a simple pledge to not complain for 21 days, according to MSNBC. Each participant was given a purple bracelet as a reminder of the pledge, and with each complaint, the bracelet is switched to the other wrist and the 21 day count restarts.
The no-complaints movement has quickly become mainstream, and so far over a million no-complaint bracelets â€“ which the church offers free of charge â€“ have been ordered. Requests for the bracelets are coming in from as far away as Australia and South Africa, as well as from American troops in Iraq.
Some participants tried up to seven months to achieve 21 complaint-free days, but even with relapses, all efforts have resulted in millions of stopped complaints. As Rev. Bowen sums it up, â€œthatâ€™s a lot less ear pollution.â€
Challenge: Could you last 21 days with no complaining, criticizing, gossiping or sarcastic remarks? Take the no-complaints pledge, and encourage those around you to do the same.
I encourage you to take this 21 day challenge. I also encourage you to be aware of your thoughts as you give up the habit of complaining and also suggest that you write a journal or keep a diary of the changes in thought processes that occur as the 21 days unfold.
Please post the results of your challenge on the blog or email them to me if you are willing to share with me. I am interested.